Let's fall in love
by Permissiontorock
Summary: Malex! Marissa coming to terms with things,deciding what she wants and eventually a different take on her telling summer about Alex.
1. Chapter 1

Marissa coming to terms with things,deciding what she wants and eventually a different take on marissa telling summer about alex being her girlfriend.

Disclaimer - I don't own any of the characters etc etc..

This is an alex/marissa fic, or malex as most of you call it ,im pretty new to this and havn't seen much of the programme so you'll have to excuse any slip ups! Hope you enjoy and please review so ill know to continue! xxx

chapter 1

Marissa was stood in the corridor lost in thought, oblivious to what was going on around her, when she felt soft fingers laced between her own caressing her hands. She looked up to see Alex smiling, her eyes twinkling with a look of pure happiness. Marissa returned the smile before hurredly removing her hand from Alex's grasp, her eyes patrolling the corridor to see if anyone had witnessed the moment of affection they had just shared. Marissa sighed seeing that everyone was too busy with their own problems to have noticed. Alex looked at Marissa confused and attempted to weave her hand in Marissa's a second time. Marissa pulled away and placed her hands in the pocket of her hooded top hoping that Alex wouldn't try again.

''Not now'' Marissa muttered under her breath.

''Have i done something wrong Riss?'' Alex asked sincerely, racking her brain to try and remember what she could have done to upset Marissa like this.

''No, no of course you havnt alex, I just, I mean its nothing i'm fine, we should really get to class we're gonna be really late''

''Come on Riss, I can tell somethings up, why wont you let me hold your hand?''

''Cause...I..there...''

''Tell me Riss''

''There are people here''

Alex stared at Marissa contemplating what she had just said ''Oh...ohh erm its okay I mean I understand if your not ready for this right now''

''No i'm totally ready alex, I want you, you know that''

'Then why does it matter what they think!'' she was beginning to raise her voice ''I don't just want to be your dirty little secret! are you ashamed of me? of us? Alex shouted on the verge of tears.

''I cant do this right now''

''Fine''

Alex stormed off, not wanting marissa to see her tears, to know how weak she became over her love for her. She wished she hadn't got so mad at Marissa, after all she knew how it felt. She remembered how confused she had felt two years ago when she had her first girlfriend.How scared she was of what people would think of her, and how nasty and immature the kids at her school were. After that Alex became tough, she grew confident, if people didn't like her for who she was then they wernt worth bothering with at all. Alex knew it would be hard for Marissa to show people who she truly was. Marissa was popular, pretty,'make that beautiful' Alex thought, and something like this could ruin her social status, 'but if she really loves me then she'll do the right thing, I don't want to live my life in secret, I want to shout it from the rooftops, I Love Marissa!'


	2. Chapter 2

Marissa coming to terms with things and a different take on marissa telling summer about alex being her girlfriend.

Disclaimer - i dont own any of the characters

This is an alex/marissa fic ,im pretty new to this and havnt seen much of the programme so you'll have to excuse any slip ups! Hope you enjoy and please review so ill know to continue! xxx

Marissa lay on her bed trying to ignore her phone which had been ringing for the past ten minutes but the caller never let it kick on to the answer machine.

The noise felt harsh to her ears. It wouldnt stop ringing.Alex words were playing in her head on a loop. ''then why does it matter what they think!'' Marissa eyes were red raw and stung like hell.The words stung like hell. It didnt matter what people thought. it shouldnt matter. 'im just being unreasonable, i wish i could tell her that i love her, that i want to spend the rest of my life with her and never leave her arms' but its not that simple marissa thought.How do i tell summer.I mean i dont care about what mom thinks shes a stupid bitch whos intent on ruining my life and everyone else, they dont matter.Nothing matters but summer.Shes my best friend and i need her to be there for me, i care about her . I want us to be like we've always been.

As these thoughts ran through her head, suffocating her brain, marissa tried to numb the pain by taking a large swig of vodka. Her face creased up and she stuck her tongue out, shook her head and cringed at the nasty taste that would soon remove her troubles and make everything okay. Well at least for a little while. And then she'd be back in the reality. Living a lie and hiding from the world like a recluse.

The answering machine beeped making marissa jump and drop the half empty bottle of vodka, leaving its contents to be soaked up by her duvet.

''hey marissa its alex i ...erm i just wanted to say that...look im sorry okay..i..i shouldn't have flipped out like that...but i guess what i wanted to say was that i... I love you marissa.. ''

Tears rolled down marissa cheeks as she fumbled for the phone and tried to grab it but it was too late alex had hung up.

''i love you marissa'' she'd said i love you. she loves me.she really loves me.Marissa blinked, wiped her tear filled eyes on her sleeve and laughed. Alex loves me.She smiled at the thought. 'i love you too alex' she whispered to the phone in her hands.

Alex's hands trembled nervously as she replaced the phone in its holster.'oh my god.what have i done.what if she doesnt love me.oh fuck.' She panicked and dragged her self over to the bathroom. Alex leaned over the sink ,turned on the cold tap and splashed the icy water all over her face till she was numb and her vision was blurred so that she couldnt see the scruffy adolescent punk staring back at her.

The water trickled down her face and ran onto the top marissa had turned pink in the wash. Alex watched the water soak into the tee and smiled remembering the day so vividly. It had been less than 24 hours since they had argued yet to Alex it felt like an eternity. Like her beating heart had been ripped from chest and shredded into thousands of pieces. She glared into the mirror at her reflection which in turn glared back at her. Scowling Alex flicked the light switch off, walked sluggishly across the room and climbed in to bed. She had of course no intention of going to bed, as thoughts of marissa crowded her head she wouldn't be able to doze off any time soon.

Marissa rolled over and looked at the clock on her bedside table. The display said that it was 7:30 am. She groaned at the throbbing pain that consumed her head and defiantley pulled herself out from the warmth of the covers. As she lowered her feet to the floor marissa felt them land on something cold and hard. Then a loud crunch of glass fully awoke her. Marissa winced as a shard of glass penetrated the soft skin of her foot and she rapidly withdrew it from the mass of broken glass that cluttered her rug. Realising it was the vodka bottle marissa felt a stream of guilt seep through her. 'you've got to stop this. look at yourself. your pathetic. alex deserves better than this. alex...' marissa recalled the message she has recieved the previous evening. 'i can't believe how selfish you are.drowning away your sorrows.if you want your girl go get her' marissa scolded herself. Rather than spending the rest of the morning wallowing in self pity she decided that she would definatley ring alex despite the fact that she presumed alex would want nothing more to do with her after the way she had distanced herself from her in the corridor.

The sun poured in like butterscotch through the gap in alex's curtains creating a rainbow on the wall. Blue, red, green and gold welcoming the new day. Alex felt a smooth hand stroking her arm.

''mmm marissa i like it when you do that.'' alex whispered dreamily

''Sorry to burst your bubble hun but its me jodie''

Alex immediatley awoke and sat bolt upright turning her attention fully towards her company. Oh my god shit what have i done. I so don't remember bringing jodie back last night. no i wouldn't. i can't have done i wouldn't do that to marissa. Panick stricken, alex raced through her mind trying to remember something. anything.

Jodie saw the look of fear on alex's face and interpreted it as being an unwelcome guest.

''your wondering what i'm doing here'' she stated

''yeah''

''don't worry we didn't sleep togther, although that would have been nice...''

''you wish''

''i know i do''

''whatever. what are you doing here then?''

''can't a girl visit her girlfriend without being under suspicion!''

''ex-girlfriend and no she can't not when its you jodie''

''oh yeah your with that cooper girl now arent ya... you know you'll never have it as good as me'' jodie teased playfully

Alex twitched at the mention of the name ''She has a name you know, she's called marissa and actually i have it better''

''ooo get you, somebodys fallen hard for her''

''yeah shes amazing.. hey anyway will you quit changing the subject tell me whats going on!''

''well it's nearly 11 and you said you'd meet me down at the beach so we could go get some surfing done, and you didn't show so i came here and your apartment was open so i invited myself in''

''oh my god im so sorry i forgot''

''yeah id noticed''

''ill make it up to you''

''sure''

''honest i promise''

''ive heard that one before''

''no seriously i will!''

''okay hun well i might see you at the bait shop later on''

''oh are you going now''

''yeah ive got ladies to see'' jodie smirked

''have fun''

''i will, youll have to introduce me to cooper sometime, seeing as though your so taken with her''

''marissa. and yeah maybe i will. i think you'll like her''

''im sure i will''

''seeya''

And with that jodie left as rapidly as she had arrived. Alex let out a huge sigh of relief wondering why she had doubted herself. Realising that she and marissa hadn't yet reconciled alex felt a wave of dissapointment wash over herself. 'She probably hates me right now'.

Marissa sat by the phone bringing up the courage to call alex. She tapped in the number but slammed it down before it had chance to ring. ' no what am i doing i can't' ' she probably hates me right now'


	3. Chapter 3

Marissa lay flat on her back on the floor. Arms straight by her sides and her eyes closed deep in concentration, or rather lack of concentration well at least she wasn't supposed to be concentrating. Infact she was supposed to be doing the opposite. Marissa groaned at her inability to remove all thoughts from her mind. She was trying so hard to do it which made her think about trying to remove her thoughts and then she realised that she was thinking and that this whole meditation lark wasnt working.

'This isn't going to work! you can't just make her vanish from your thoughts.you have to call her! she told you she loves you for christs sake!'

Marissa stood up with determination, after regaining her balance she caught sight of her reflection in the dressing table mirror. She gazed at the state her hair was in.

It was all fuzzed up and bits were hanging out of the bobble. Remembering how Alex always told her that she looked beautiful even when her hair was a scruffy mess, she brushed her hair till it was sleek and shiny once again, deciding against Alex's enthusiasm.

Picking up her cell from amidst the hair accesories and jewelry on her desk marissa noticed she had recieved a missed call from Summer. Knowing Summer would most likely be enquiring into why she hadn't been attending school for the past few days Marissa reluctantly opted to listen to the message.

''Hey Marissa its me Sum, missed you today, I know your probably fine and you wont want me fussing like this but im just worried, you know you can talk to me. oh and by the way Ryans gone all like manic depressive. I think he really misses you ya know Marissa. well any way I know somethings playing on your mind, and whatever it is it must be pretty important for you to have missed out on jello and ice cream thursday lunch. so I reckon you should share. well ill see you tomorow hopefully. oh and if you dont show ill come round there and personally drag you from that house!'' The phone beeped, indicating the end of the message.

Marissa knew summer meant well but sometimes she wished her friend would just leave her to it.And why did she insist on mentioning ryan, couldn't she just realise that Marissa was so totally over him. 'At least she cares about me i guess. I wish i could tell her how i feel. Its killing me not being able to just talk about it freely to her. But she just wouldn't understand' Marissa smiled absent mindedly at the photo of sum and her taken last year at the beach. Both girls were smiling happily, arms linked and having a great time. She wished it could be like old times but she had been growing apart from summer ever since she met alex, she didn't want it to happen, but it was inevitable. It wasn't as though Alex was replacing summer. They were two very different people and marissa loved them both. Summer was her best friend but Alex was more than that, Alex was her girlfriend, her lover, a part of herself. 'I least i hope so' she whispered to her self. She hadn't been spending as much time with summer so that she could spend more time with Alex. She couldn't bare to be apart from Alex, without her she felt incomplete.This had caused Summer to become extremely suspicious and envious. The other day she said ''God coop the amount of time you spend with that Alex anyone would think you loved the girl.'' To this comment Marissa kept her head down and mumbled something incoherenty. Summer shook it off and continued with '' I hope she isn't stealing my position as best friend and confidant'' and Marissa replied '' noone could do that Sum, your the only one for the job'' The conversation continued with friendly chatter, gossip and some discussion of shopping, the topic of Alex was brushed away and they hadn't spoke about her since. ' i'd better call her back, she'll only start making presumptions again if i don't. not that i don't want her to know. it's just I want to tell her in person.'

The phone kept on ringing and marissa was on the verge of hanging up when a breathless summer picked up.

''Hey riss...'' a long pause and the sound of heavy breathing in the background '' what did you want?''

''such a friendly welcome''

''sorry, kind of busy, i'll call you back later if you want?''

''oh no it doesn't matter, i was just er calling to let you know that im fine''

''oh yeah, you sure? cause i'll come over right now if you're not!''

''nah im good, you go get on with whatever it is you were occupied with''

'' IT is seth'' summer laughed cheekily

''oh god, nice, some great imagery now''

''ew gross dont think about it''

''you started it''

''yeah well im going back to it now''

''good''

''well im glad your okay''

''im glad your not worried anymore''

''no i am worried, see, worried, i just, its just im a bit preoccupied''

'' i can't see you sum, and yeah id noticed''

'' okay well i'll see you at school tomorow okay''

''yeah''

''i will see you wont i?''

''yes sum, wouldn't miss it for the world''

''stop being sarcastic, im trying to be serious here''

''you serious?''

''Yeah whats so wrong with that''

''nothing , its just er unusual''

''yeah well i just care about you, and i don't want my best friend to be on her own and depressed if i can help it''

''im not depressed''

''well stop being all mopey then''

''i will, ive just had some things to think about recently''

''i know''

''you do?'' marissa questioned nervously

''i mean i can tell by the way you've been acting''

''yeah well im sorry ive been so weird, im okay now''

''hope so, ryan eh?'' summer asked causing marissa to flinch and frown helplessly at the mention of his name, if only she knew what was really going on

'' yeah well i'll leave you and seth to it''

''okay seeya riss''

''byeee''

Marissa pondered on wether to call alex or not for a split second before replacing the phone in its holster and gazing out of the window as the rain drops pattered on the glass.' This isnt going to work on the phone. I've got to tell her in person' She debated with herself whilst frowning at the rain which was now coming down quick and heavy. Darkness was rapidly approaching and there was an icy chill in the air but despite this marissa left her house without so much as a coat and set off walking briskly for alex's apartment.


	4. Chapter 4

Magnificant fork lightning bolts shot through the sky leaving blazing trails of flourescent yellow hovering in the dark night sky and a bitter chill haunted the harsh breeze that stung Marissa's eyes. Marissa hurried down the sidewalk , quickening her pace every time thunder rumbled somewhere in the distance. The rain was pelting it down, and her sodden clothes clung to her body like cling film, causing her to tremble from the cold. Regardless of this she marched on, determination apparent in her facial expression, and a fake confidence obvious in her stride. Droplets of rain combined with salty tears trickled down Marissa's face, falling off the tip of her nose but not once did she stop to wipe the water away. She carried on, ignoring the part of her that was willing her to return to her bed and forget the whole thing. When Marissa eventually reached her destination she froze, glued to the spot. Unable to bring herself to knock she colapsed and slumped against the front door.

Alex was prancing around her apartment absent mindedly to Pulp's 'Common People' when she heard an almighty thud out the front. Extremely cautious to whatever had caused the disturbance she grabbed the nearest object to which she could get her hands on for protection. She had however picked up a rather worn teddy bear that had been discarded down the back of the sofa some months ago. Figuring it wasnt much in the way of protection Alex returned it to its hiding place and raised her fists in preperation. Flinging the door open, Alex gasped as a drenched Marissa stumbled backwards into her apartment. It wasn't exactly what she had been expecting, she thought it might have been a gang of yobs or a drunken jodie, but this was neither, it was much more of a surprise. Not that she was complaining. But it had been a few days since she had last seen Marissa, although it seemed like an eternity, this sudden appearence came as quite a shock.

Marissa mumbled something that Alex was unable to decipher through the constant chattering of teeth. As Alex pulled Marissa to her feet she was greeted by arms flung round her neck and an extremely tight hug. Clinging to Alex as though her life depended on it, Marissa let the tears flow freely and nuzzled into Alex's neck like a helpless child to its mother.

Though the embrace lasted merely seconds, to both girls it felt like a life time of pent up passion and love for one another had just been released. They had both craved each other so much in the brief time they had spent apart that this hug was what they both desperatley needed.

Dismissing the urge to kiss her, Alex softly wiped away the fallen tear drops and smoothed away Marissa's hair from her face, watching her intently. Marissa gazed longingly into Alex's crystal blue eyes. Eyes that were more beautiful then the constellations that glittered in the night sky. Whispering without even a hint of regret in her voice she announced

" I love you Alex."

Alex was quite taken back by this sudden revelation. She had presumed that Marissa had come round to call the whole thing of, to say that it wasnt working, or that she couldn't be with her. A beaming smile appeared on Alex's face when she realised that the only person in the world she had ever dreamed of spending her entire life with had just declared her love for her.

" Riss you must be absalutley freezing, we need to get you inside, and get you warmed up before you catch pneumonia or something"

"No honestly it's okay ill be fine. Just please listen to what i have to say. I really mean it Alex. I really do love you. I'm sorry that we argued and i'm sorry that i treated you so badly because you mean the world to me you know that."

" You mean the world to me to." blushed Alex, " But dont feel the need to return my love, you're a very special girl Riss and you deserve to be happy. And if thats not with me then i accept that. I just want you to be happy."

" Dont you see Alex. I am happy. Being here with you right now, it's the happiest i've ever felt in all my life. You make me happy. When i'm with you it feels like nothing else matters because you're there and thats all i need. The hardest thing i've ever done was being seperated from you. And i realised that this is what i want. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you Alex Kelly!"

" I love you to." Alex replied contently, holding back the tears that brimmed her eyes.

This time it was Alex that initiated the hug. Both girls grasped onto each other, squeezing tightly as at that moment in time neither of them wanted to release themselves from the bliss they felt from the contact.


	5. Chapter 5

Marissa had spent the night safely tucked away in Alex's arms, and they had held each other till both had fallen asleep.That night when a distraught Marissa turned up on her doorstep Alex knew that this was the girl she wanted. Neither one wanted to take their relationship any further, just being together and holding one another was enough to make everything right. They had slept peacefully, nothing disturbed them from the trance like state they were in and when morning came both girls felt truly content.

The two young lovers lay entwined beneath the sheets. Both pretending to be in a deep sleep, when actually neither were, but each secretly catching a glimpse of the other 'sleeping' . Alex gently placed a hand on Marissa's hair and began to caress the silky brown waves that covered the pillow. As Alex closed her eyes and ceased stroking in fear of waking her, Marissa opened her eyes and gazed longingly at Alex. Suddenly they were both looking into each others eyes lovingly, and when they both realised that neither one of them had been asleep they burst into fits of laughter. It was only a brief moment, but the two would share that happy memory for ever.

When the laughter had died out and the girls had calmed down, it was Alex who broke the awkward silence that had appeared after the ridiculous outburst of laughter. Smiling cheerfully she took a few moments before the words came out, because she was so lost in what was happening, in the euphoria of what they were experiencing together.

"So, what you wanna do today then, I don't have to be at the Bait shop till later on so we've got all day"

"Anything as long as it's with you" Marissa beamed.

"Anything?" replied Alex slyly.

" Yeah, why? what were you thinking of doing?"

" Nevermind" she chuckled

"Aw go on tell me, im sure it's a great idea!"

" I want to spend the whole day long in bed with a beautiful girl!"

" Oh my god, who?"

" You silly!"

" Oh yeah, you think i'm beautiful?"

" Of course i do! You're the most beautiful person i have ever met in my entire life!"

" That's really sweet, and i would love to spend the day in bed with my girlfriend, but..."

" But what?"

" But you promised me that surf lesson remember!"

" Oh! I do remember! and you just called me your girlfriend! "

" Yeah i did"

"Cool"

" We're girlfriend and girlfriend right?" Marissa questioned

" Yeah course we are "

" I love you"

" I love you to!"

Alex leaned across to Marissa, untill their faces were merely an inch apart, and she smiled, a really content sort of smile, and rubbed noses with Marissa.Marissa however was unable to contain her affection and immediatley pulled Alex towards her. She began to kiss Alex passionatley and held her face, stroking the soft rosy skin and closing her eyes as she deepened the kiss. Both girls were still smiling uncontrollably, letting their hands explore each others bodies,gliding along the smooth skin and wandering over the curves with excitement.With them it was like it was the first time all over again, they were both shy and nervous yet still so eager, and that made the love they shared so much more thrilling. Marissa was about to slip one hand inside Alex's girl boxers but Alex caught sight of what she was doing and pulled her hand away.

'' Not yet"

Marissa's face suddenly displayed a confused expression.

" Don't get me wrong, i want to do this, but i think we should wait, you know take things slowly and wait till you're ready for this."

" But i am ready Alex"

"Yeah but still..are you sure you want to do this now? 'Cause i'll always be here for you, ya know, so we have all the time in the world and i can wait forever if thats what you want."

"Okay"

"You sure it's okay with you?"

"Yeah it's fine"

"Great, well i just think we should take things as they come, we'll know when the time is right"

"Sure"

"Sorry please don't be mad at me riss"

" I'm not mad at you at all, honestly it's okay!"

" I guess it's me who's not ready for this, not you"

" It's okay"

" It's just that i guess im kinda nervous about this whole thing, and your really special to me so i want everything to be perfect for you"

" Thanks, but Alex everything is perfect already, you're perfect and i really love you so it won't make a difference to me"

" I know but still i think i want to wait"

"Cool then we'll wait, no hurry"

"Thanks Riss"

"No problem, i'd do anything for you"

"Thats sweet"

"Yeah and it's the truth, so are we gonna go surfing or what?"

"Yep can't wait to watch you fall off!"

" Hey don't be mean"

" Aww sorry"

" Say sorry properly!"

"I just did!"

" No you didn't you were being sarcastic!"

" Fine Sorry... Loser!" Alex taunted.

And with that Marissa grabbed a pillow and threw it straight at Alex's Head. It hit her slap bang in the middle of her face. Alex groaned and tumbled off the bed,hitting her head on the bed post and landing with a great thump on the floor. She lay there motionless. Marissa's jaw dropped. For a moment she watched Alex, hoping it was just a stupid prank, a childish hoax. But Alex remained on the floor motionless. Marissa rapidly hurtled off the bed and began to shake Alex franticly. But still no sign of life.


End file.
